shit happens

so today ive got my 3rd sem's results. and it was as horrible as i could imagine. stil, im grateful that i passed all the subjects. but it was just so sad to see that those subjects that i used to target, turned out really bad. or say maybe lower than i expected. so enough said bout my results. im over it. but, wut did really put me into tears was my parents reaction. as usual, my results have always been such an issue to my family, as im the only child, and my studies is just so so so important to my parents. im not saying that others' who have siblings are not, but theres just bigger hope and and pressure to me. and that when i received such results, it sort of brings a solemn atmosphere, awkward situation and also grief into my house. well guess wut, i've never ever wanter things to be like this. its not that i didn't do revision for my exams, i did. but, i guess hard works never really paid off. all the burn-the-midnight-oil and the 1hr-sleep on the night before the exam, were not good enough..everything was just bullshit. i love to put it like this, as if maybe God wanted to show me something behind all this. i keep telling myself that maybe this is just the beginning, as i almost gave up just now. or maybe this is a punishment to all the sins ive done for the my whole life. however everything has happened. and to ummi and abah, im so sorry for everything. i've let you down while you were fulfilling all my wishes...